A few years ago the waters off Dubai were like a lovely warm bath. Swimming was a wonderful experience, at least for people who don't enjoy having to break the ice before they dip a frozen toe in the dark and ominous English Channel. On Midsummer's Day.
For some reason, the habit of going to the beach rather died away. Even the urging of bronzed beach-goddesses like Lola Lebcan didn't raise its appeal. Maybe a sunset stroll to take photos of the Burj, once or twice a year. But no more sunbathing, and certainly no more swimming.
Perhaps it was the dredging for the Palms that ruined the oceans. Not just because it fouled up the water with sand and fine particles, but because it stopped them being an endless mystical stretch of water as far as the eye could see. Now the sea was just a sort of inlet or lake, a sad sandy pond. The real Gulf now started the other side of the World's Biggest Man-Made Artificial Sand-Dredged Islands (tm) all rights reserved to His Majesty's Vision Inc (tm).
Anyway we've had this latest story before, last year on the BBC in fact. But now The Times has picked up on the fact that Dubai isn't quite the unspoilt virgin eco-Eden that Nakheel's vast hordes of paid "ecologists" and assorted "environmental scientists" like to promote:
"A noxious tide of toilet paper, raw sewage and chemical waste has transformed Dubai’s most prestigious stretch of shoreline into a foul-smelling health hazard.
"A stretch of the exclusive Jumeirah Beach - a magnet for Western tourists and home to a string of hotels - has been closed. “It’s a cesspool. Our tests show too many E. coli to count. It’s like swimming in a toilet,” said Keith Mutch, the manager of the Offshore Sailing Club, which has posted warnings and been forced to cancel regattas. The pollution is a blow to Dubai’s reputation as an international holiday destination offering almost guaranteed sunshine and clear seas."
The good news for Dubai is that the sort of tourists who flock in on cheap Emirates deals and hang around the Jumeirah Beach Hotel with their tattoos, guts and lycra on grim and sweaty display are probably not Times subscribers.
The bad news is that like everyone else in the world, they're probably about to lose their jobs, homes and savings if they haven't already. Meaning even a weekend in Weston-Super-Mud or Whitley Bay is going to be beyond the budget, let alone The Arabian Effluent Experience.
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It is impossible to know whether this post at Al-Emirati.com on the victims of the recent Air India disaster is intended to be some appalling attempt at humour or satire, but by every single measure it is absolutely beyond the pale:
Not really. Not only do I not care if the victims "rest in peace" but it seems to me that they are, rather, resting in pieces!
I am of course talking about flight IX 812 from Dubai to Balglapour (or some other hell hole, they're all the same) that recently crashed (click here)
I know I know. Mean, blah blah. The way I see it is as follows. The UAE is (about) 50% Indians, Something that I, and 90% of all other Emaratis see as a bad thing.
This plane, carrying Indians who live and work here, means that 160 indians that clog up the roads, cause accidents, fail code inspections at Indian restaurants, speak like this guy, and are a general drag on the security of the UAE, wont be coming back. That is a very GOOD thing!
I can only pray that this happens every week!
Sadly, we'll probably have 160 new VISAs for 160 new Indians issued in 3 hours... And the authority in charge of this will flaunt that, as if it's a good thing.
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